Don’t worry, they always hire bums like me for jobs like this.

A mercenary is hired to rescue his ex-girlfriend, a singer who has been kidnapped by a motorcycle gang. This is a full-blown 80’s movie. It’s got all the elements of a cyberpunk film noir: it’s got great music, retro cars in a dark, futuristic city flooded by neon lights, motorcycle gangs, the investigator/mercenary, its love interest and a case that goes beyond expectations.

The acting is great, it’s nice to see big names like Willem Dafoe, Rick Moranis, Bill Paxton next to Michael Paré, Amy Madigan and Diane Lane. The music is great, the story is linear, but enjoyable. The music, however, is very good, the soundtrack is amazing, being one of the strongest points of the movie.

All in all, it’s a good crime movie, deeply rooted in the eighties, an over-the-top, campy, loud, flashy, booming mess of a film from start to finish. And that’s a good thing. Five popcorns.

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In the distant future, Earth is occupied by ancient gods and genetically altered humans. When a god is sentenced to death he seeks a new human host and a woman to bear his child.

If you want a weird film, you better rest assured, the French got this. It’s a weird mix of anime, motion picture and noir movie. The setting is very cyberpunk-ish, genetically modified people blending with technology, aliens, and old gods in a masterful way. This is “Blade Runner” mixed with “Final Fantasy” mixed with “Matrix” mixed with “A Scanner Darkly” mixed with “The Fifth Element” mixed with “Stalker”. At some point you can even see a poster ad about “Tarkovskaya Vodka”, heh.

The story is mysterious and interesting enough, the music is great, and the graphics are good (it looks more like an anime than a movie sometimes, which is fine, considering the low budget and 2004 technology)

It’s a good watch, four popcorns and a metal leg.

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All showmen are snowmen.

The life of American music icon Elvis Presley, from his childhood to becoming a rock and movie star in the 1950s while maintaining a complex relationship with his manager, Colonel Tom Parker.

The $85 million dollar budget shows: the costumes, sets, everything is spotless, the acting is fantastic, both from Austin Butler, and from fat Tom Hanks, as well. The storytelling is all over the place, and the pacing is poor as well, at some points it feels like TikTok videos stitched together.

The music doesn’t need any mention, of course, as some Elvis songs save the general perception from this point of view. However, Baz Luhrmann likes to throw in some modern shit into the mix (remember Jay-Z & Kanye in “The Great Gatsby”?), so some appearances by Denzel Curry, or Doja Cat were easily noticeable, off-putting and destroying the mood of the movie at some places.

The movie is a decent watch, but don’t even try to compare it with masterpieces like Ray, La Vie En Rose, or Bohemian Rhapsody. Austin Butler might get an Oscar for his performance. The costumes/set/music awards also might be on the table. But that’s all about it, four popcorns.

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The little yellow fellas are at it again, in a story that tells a bit about Gru’s child years. The movie looks great, the animation is really realistic, Gru’s a pretty decent character and the minions are insanely funny. Plus, there are a ton of 70’s references. A great bonus are the voices, which are not only well done, but the cast is filled with A-listers: Steve Carell, Michelle Yeoh, Pierre Coffin, Alan Arkin, Russell Brand, Jean-Claude Van Damme (as Jean-Clawed), Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, RZA, and many others.

Maybe it’s not a great movie, but definitely a good watch with the kids. Six popcorns.

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Moscow, 1953. After being in power for nearly 30 years, Soviet dictator Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin takes ill and quickly dies. Now the members of the Council of Ministers scramble for power.

This movie is insane, it’s filled to the brim with absurd, but realistic jokes, and it’s based on true events. There are so many good things that can be said about this movie, but it’s best if you see for yourself, as it’s one of the best dark comedies out there. Five popcorns.

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In the oppressive 1980s communist Romania, the smuggled VHS tapes of banned Hollywood films become an inspirational ray of hope. A hybrid feature about the magic of film and the power it has to change lives, about the voice behind all the great movies we saw during the communist regime and the great person that Irina-Margareta Nistor is.

If you’re over 30, you’ve definitely saw a movie on a video player, and this will definitely strike a chord. I remember seeing it when it was released, and re-watching it now gave me the same nostalgic feeling. This documentary is fine if you’ve never lived those times, but if you did, it’s a masterpiece.

Six popcorns.

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The Sea Beast is a great movie for kids and for the old ones as well. The characters, the world building, the seafarer music, everything about this movie is excellent. Just watch it and hope that it becomes a series. Six popcorns.

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In the near future, William Geld, an insurance fraud investigator, receives orders to unmask a forger of “papelles” (visas) operating in Shanghai. However, his life takes a turn for the unexpected when he falls in love with the perpetrator, Maria Gonzalez.

Espionage, a good story, cyberpunk to the level where they record their memories, they use custom-made viruses to improve themselves, like being more empathic, speaking Mandarin and so on, in a globalised world. The setting is good, place like Shanghai, Dubai and Rajasthan giving it a futuristic enough setting. The music is good, the story is very nice, and it gets pretty twisty. Four popcorns.

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I know what you’d spend 500 billion dollars to see.

What seemed like a breezy idea for an engineer to net him millions of dollars, leaves him on the run for his life and piecing together why he’s being chased.

It’s directed by John Woo after a short story by Philip K. Dick, so it looks and feels a bit like the younger brother of Mission Impossible and Minority Report. And that’s not at all a bad thing. The story is interesting enough, the pacing is great, and it feels like an early-2000 movie. Even the poster yells “2003”.

Four popcorns.

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If you’re going to make a weird fantasy movie, there are literally only two options available: Guillermo del Toro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie, Big Bug, Alien: Ressurection). This is the work of the second, along with Marc Caro. A good weird fantasy movie, starring a Ron Perlman whose hair is not white, with a good strange soundtrack and a very interesting story. Plus, there’s a brain in a jar, connected to a microphone, camera and speakers which is the main villain. Or hero. Hard to tell. The movie is a visual masterpiece, but feels odd and pretty hard to watch. It reminded me a bit of Brasil, or a less-fun version of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. The soundtrack eventually saved it. Three popcorns.

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How do you know a movie was made at the turn of the century? Ryan Philippe? Check! Claire Forlani? Check! Has cyberpunk-ish semi-futuristic gizmos? Check! Stereophonics, Elliott Smith, or Massive Attack on the sountrack? Check, check and check!

Corporate spying, closed-source code, conspirations, and building video-calls phones in 2001. The movie is pretty predictable, but the story is well paced, the acting is okey and the music is (once again) a life saver. This could have made the Movie Vault, but it resembles too much to Hackers. Or to Silicon Valley. Good, enjoyable movie, four popcorns.

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An epic mosaic of interrelated characters in search of love, forgiveness, and meaning in the San Fernando Valley.

A great movie by PTA, director of many other great movies (Licorice Pizza, Inherent Vice, Hard Eight, Phantom Thread), with a solid A-list cast (Tom Cruise, Jason Robards, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy, John C. Reilly, Philip Baker Hall, and many others), a great story with excellent pacing. This is a three hour movie but you won’t feel them, as it’s packed with a lot of stuff happening. It’s lovely to see stories unfold and blend and seeing them interacting with each other and turning into a single one. Oh, and the music is unbelievably good.

This is something that happens

Six popcorns. 🐸

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